The taste of failure

I clearly remember that the story happened at the table tennis match held in primary and secondary schools in early June this year.
In fact, in this half year, due to various reasons, the number of times I practice tennis is is very small, a lot of movements, basic skills are somewhat unfamiliar. But with years of experience, I still made the top eight. And the next race I’m going to play against Xiaoshui of Beichangying Primary School eight to four. Xiaoshui is a strong opponent for me. Together with this game, too many other elements have been injected into it. Thus, the three successive “blows” seem to have covered my mind with a layer of grey gauze.
“One, two, three, come on!” Listen, that’s a familiar voice. Yes, at this time, my mind will be filled with the sound of teammates encouraging each other.
“The women’s singles competition of the elementary school group 8-4 now begins.” With the referee’s order, the fire of the game began to ring.
She only saw a beautiful backhand serve coming towards me. It was a side spin. According to past experience, in fact, as long as she rubbed it gently, she could pick it up for the other side. But – somehow, I was subconsciously trying to attack the past. Although the ball has a perfect first landing point, but it stopped in my own net a centimeter place, the ball – off the net.
So the second, the third and the fourth are all off the internet. Actually, this kind of service is my best. In the whole match, few people can take it perfectly, but now, I lost in my reverse service.
At last, I got the ball. Tension and fear made my psychological defense extremely fragile. My hands began to tremble and closed my eyes. “One, two, three, come on!” The voice hovered in my mind again. Confucius said, “It is a gentleman to treat others in their own way.” Since it is also a mandatory killing skill, why not?
Bang, bang, is also a backhand side down spin, sure enough, she also went off the net. The next score is very tight, even a sudden ordinary ball can make us pull several boards. Even a sudden backspin ball can make us rub it several times. Scores, as time goes by, become anxious. In a twinkling of an eye, it was the final game. 11:12 What a shocking number. I’m still one point behind, but fate is a teaser, the ball of life and death is the opponent’s ball right, but also a side spin ball. But the subconscious let me pull back the past, and the tragedy repeats itself. The ball – it’s off the net again. 11:13. I am lost.
I ran out to calm the taste of failure. But tears rushed into my heart and grabbed my eyes. A kind of despair, loss, self-blame filled my whole body. I know I lost the whole game mainly in psychological quality. In the past, I always did not understand why the big brothers and sisters who are going to graduate always shed tears at the end of the competition because of their failure. Now I finally realize how they feel. Every athlete wants to leave a perfect ending when he is about to tell others a paragraph of his life, but more regrets. Always hope for a miracle, dream of standing proudly on the podium, but the fact is so cruel, you can only stand on the podium, looking at the opponent standing on the highest podium, the frustration after the failure, the taste of failure, just for the moment of graduation of this elementary school portrayed a. An incomplete stop.