The Big World in Novels

In my opinion, other people have many hobbies, but they are very ordinary. Play basketball, play football, jump rope… But I’m different. I’m a lazy girl who likes to hang around in class. My hobbies are somewhat different. I like to create and write fiction. I often get stunned while conceiving, or even burst out laughing or crying suddenly.
You may not believe it. In fact, the origin of all this is just a crazy idea that can’t be crazy any more.
I remember that year, when I entered the second half of the fourth grade, my composition also entered the “peak stage” of the elementary school era. The throne of Fan Wen returned to me for the second time, writing passages like running water and clouds. Before long, I began to be proud and complacent under the worship of the whole class. I naively thought that my article was the first in the world and no one could surpass it. Later, by accident, I entered the starting point of the Chinese network and began to read novels. Then I realized how foolish and ignorant my previous ideas were.
Looking at the highly popular home page recommendation novels, one by one outstanding writers are surrounded by thousands of fans, a variety of peers and outreach, as well as publications, film and television games adapted…
Having been accustomed to standing at the top of my eyes red, the fire of jealousy burned in my chest, a sense of sourness arises spontaneously, throughout my body, I suddenly feel ashamed and ashamed. In a few seconds, shame turned into rage. I don’t allow anybody to surpass me in composition. No!!
Driven by extreme vanity, I desperately clicked on the Writers’Zone and pressed the registration button. Always proud and complacent, I named myself “The Moon at Night” with anger, which means “The Moon at Night Overrides the Peak” and took these four beautiful words to form the pen name of arrogance. The moon is white and flawless, in the night appears abrupt, beautiful, the moon also wants to “override the peak” meaning that I want to surpass all people to stand at the top of the world!!
Naturally, it was impossible to achieve, but at that time I was too naive to think naively any more. For the first time, I don’t know how deep the swamp is. I chose the popular starting point of the Chinese Internet. The competitive power is squeezed to the foothold of the fourth grade students without you.
The first work is very poor and rotten. It is not too much nonsense to be deleted directly.
Half of the second work found that the plot was very earthy and the back was not round at all. More than 40,000 words have been deleted and bloody.
In the third work, the poor reviews made me feel ashamed and angry. I tore up all the manuscripts, which were already on the internet, and all of them were destroyed.

The bloodshed of the first few works just came out, and the tragic failure made me lose confidence slowly. I began to wonder if my original choice was right. Is it right for me to write? At the same time, I have entered the second half of the fifth grade, the academic pressure is gradually increasing, and there is no spare time to update… Finally, when the last time I was scolded for writing too poorly, I announced in public that I would stop updating, and then deleted the work and went back to seclusion.
A year later… Now, I pick up my pen again.
Unlike before, this time, I was with tears, words and sentences moving the true feelings of the heart to render the tear-provoking fragments…
The plot of the game Fifth Personality has always been one of the topics that players like to talk about. One of the branches of the plot is a clip about a father who was betrayed by his wife and friends and sent his daughter to an orphanage to set himself on fire. At that time, one person in the game discussion group said that he wanted to see the passage of his father and girl’s departure, and asked if anyone could write about it. I don’t know what kind of psychology it is. I reached out and pulled out a stack of writing paper inserted beside me, took out my pen, closed my eyes and began to conceive.
The next second, I was in tears.
Think about it. If your mother leaves you, leaving your father alone, he will send you to the orphanage, leaving behind a figure and a “sorry” and ruthlessly abandoning you again. I sympathize with my daughter’s unfair fate, but on the other hand, I have to understand my father’s helplessness: all the property was taken away by his wife and friends, which led to the bankruptcy of the factory. Only by self-immolation to defraud a huge amount of insurance compensation can my daughter maintain her happiness for the rest of her life…
I was shocked by the great father’s love. My daughter’s reluctant affection for her father was even more touching. The bitter but relatively silent complex emotions of both father and daughter lingered in my mind for a long time. Until the end of his life, his father did not have the heart to tell the truth to his daughter. The only memories left were the strong fire and the words “I’m sorry…” which contained thousands of words.
With tears running down, I wrote down the tearful farewell between father and girl with trembling hands. From the beginning to the end of this time, I have no time to consider the comparison and contest, all with my heart to feel, with the input of the soul, the feelings between father and daughter and the helpless interpretation of life and death almost incisively and vividly… Up to the end of the writing, the bottom half of the paper was completely soaked in my tears, and it looked very awkward.
Feel with your heart, touch with your true feelings…
After the news was sent out, QQ group like a frying pan, most of the comments are “touching” and “tear-provoking” such words, there are also large comments. This article was written with great success and received unanimous praise from more than 1,000 people in the whole group.
But somehow, I’m not happy at all…
My heart, together with the fire, has been buried with my father in that bleak world.
Everyone was talking happily, but only I was lying on the table crying silently…
Since then, I began to write the plot novel of Fifth Personality. Unlike before, I no longer compare, no matter what others do, just remember that sentence:
“Feel with your heart, touch with your true feelings.”
Slowly, I found pleasure. In the creation, the mood fluctuates with the plot. When the forces of justice win or reunite with their relatives and friends, I am really happy for them; when the forces of evil oppress me, when I die, I am not happy in any way.
This is a strange logic, but also a need to use the “heart” to understand the harbour.
You are not the Creator, you are their friend.